Spiritual Bypass / Spiritual Prison

Don't be in such a rush to meet the "transcendental God." It is through work on yourself, with and through others, that you will meet Him/Her/God first. Stop running. Stay here and do the work. (Michael Garbe)

Spiritual Bypass - The use of spirituality - meditation, seclusion or isolation, ritualistic mantra or prayer, religion, etc, as a compulsive behavior, becoming nothing more than the next drug. Spiritual Bypass is utilized to escape from the reality of stress, pain, and trauma endured in one’s lifetime, and which ultimately results in a spiritual prison. One can only be freed by cleansing oneself of trauma, not by running away from trauma into a spiritual prison.

Working in the substance abuse field for years, I encountered this nifty equation:

Pain/Stress + Drug Use/Compulsive Behavior = Immediate Pleasure + Future Pain.

Plugging in spirituality into this equation is the simplest way to define spiritual bypass.

Therefore Spiritual bypass looks like this:

Pain/Stress + Compulsive Spirituality = Immediate Pleasure + Future Pain

I would not even call it immediate pleasure, but more so dissociation and escape from reality. 

Many, many, people run to drugs and to compulsive behaviors in order to not deal with their down issues. Many people run up to spirituality to not deal with their down issues. 

You may ask. What are down issues???

Down issues are the traumas that we endured as children and while we were growing up, before we gained the strength and power to fend for, and defend ourselves, from the powers that were. Many people have still not gained this strength. Many people are gaining it. This is true spiritual awakening. The working through trauma towards liberation, not the running away from trauma into spiritual imprisonment.

I would like to delve back into the Chakra System to better depict traumas of down, and spiritual bypass up. Please see: http://www.psychodynamicawakening.com/chakras/

The first three chakras, the energy centers beginning from the base of the body to the solar plexus, are the energy centers that are concerned with Mother, Father, and the traumas that we may have been endured from our primary attachment figures; or the traumas that may have been endured by not having these primary attachment figures!!!

NO ONE had a perfect childhood, and for those who say that they did, I would suggest that there is some dissociation, other than spiritual bypass, that is occurring, and should be explored in order for you to heal. Separation/Individuation - separation from traumas, occurs at the 3rd Chakra, from which we can then move up into the heart chakra, learn to love all people unconditionally, even our injurers, and continue our journey upwards into the more etheric spiritual realms.

Spiritual Bypass can be seen in many of the practices taught by the so called “gurus” and “experts,” mentioned in my previous article (You Are Your Own Guru), such as meditation on the third eye (6th Chakra), up, rather then down where the trauma is located. Forced meditation up, rather than down, leads to nothing but dissociation and disconnection from exactly the energy centers that need to be focused on to heal. As mentioned in my previous article, your body will guide you to the point of meditation, not some “guru” or “expert.” Feeling your body and your energy will guide you back to your traumas, in order for you to heal through them; YOU ARE YOUR OWN GURU!!! You may already be feeling these energies in the form of aches and pains in the lower body, gastrointestinal issues, etc, as well as feeling the energy itself, if you really begin to connect with yourself. Please see article - You Are Your Own Guru (http://www.psychodynamicawakening.com/blog)

Another area of the New Age Spiritual Movement that I would like to address, is the use of energetic grounding and shielding techniques, which I have understood as another subtle form of spiritual bypass. 

Simply put: The only reason to ground, is to ground you down into yourself, in order for you to deal with traumas that you have been running up and away from. If you do not heal boundary violations that occurred within yourself, such as physical and sexual abuse, there is NO amount of energetic shield building, use of magical stones, etc, that will build boundaries for you!!! Building boundaries is an inside job, that takes work! It means working through trauma in order to heal and gain strength. It does not occur through some magic technique. THERE IS NO MAGIC PILL!!! YOU ARE YOUR OWN GURU! Spiritual awakening is an empowerment process and it takes work to build this strength.

MOST IMPORTANTLY!!! IT IS OKAY TO HAVE EMOTIONS!!! IT IS OKAY TO FEEL!!!

This has been the worst injury of spiritual bypass and spiritual imprisonment for humanity. The dissociation from our feelings in order to achieve some state of blissful detachment. 

There is nothing more liberating than expressing oneself freely, and this means expressing each and every one of your emotions, breaking the chains of trauma and spiritual imprisonment, towards the freedom of your creative self.

You mean even anger? It’s okay to be angry?

Simply put: If slaves did not get angry, they would still be slaves!!! Individuals like Dr. Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks were angry!!! This resulted in change!!! It is how the anger was used, constructively for action and change, rather than self destructively that was and is the issue.

It is scary to feel. It is scary to feel trauma that occurred and is stored within the body. For this reason, many people turn to alcohol and drug use, turn to compulsive behaviors such as excessive television watching and Facebook scrolling, and in this new day and age, turn to compulsive spiritual practice, such as compulsive yoga and meditation - the new age drug, which is nothing more than an escape from trauma if not used consciously; this is spiritual bypass and spiritual imprisonment.

True spiritual freedom, awakening, and expression, is gained though complete expression of your true self. Complete expression of truth, of trauma, of pain, of emotions, of feelings. Complete expression of fear, sadness, and anger, if this is your truth, in order to burn away these feelings. This is self love and self acceptance. Loving yourself for everything you are and everything you have endured. Be proud of yourself! Love yourself! LOVE EVERY ASPECT OF YOURSELF!!!

Spritual awakening is a journey down, just as much as it is a journey up. Because if we really want to get spiritual, down is up, and up is down. Correct? ;  )

-Michael Garbe

You Are Your Own Guru

Today I felt like writing and sharing with you, something that I am extremely passionate about. The concept and idea that you are you own guru.

YOU ARE YOUR OWN GURU!!!

During these times, in which more and more people are going through and experiencing their spiritual awakening and liberation, as well as the difficulties involved in this transformative process, there has also emerged a litany of “gurus” and “experts” giving advice on this subject and topic. The advice is often text book, generic, and therefore can never really be specific to you, and your specific experience with such a complex process of awakening; at it’s worst, the advice can be dangerous and harmful for the individual receiving it.

A prime example of this text book, generic, and possibly dangerous advice, is the instruction by “gurus” and “experts” to continually meditate on the third eye (6th Chakra), to fast for days, and to eliminate meat from one’s diet, as a fast track to spiritual evolution. As if this is the magic recipe for all of man kind to spiritually evolve. A suggestion like this, to say someone prone to “schizophrenia,” could be disastrous and harmful, for this individual already has an excessive amount of energy up and does not need to follow instruction on how to raise energy higher, such as the aforementioned and advice. If anything, a suggestion to meditate down, on lower energy centers, to eat a heavier diet consisting of meat and fat, in order to ground energy, would be more beneficial, and has been documented to work for individuals who have experienced psychosis due to excessive meditation. 

We have seven major chakras or energy centers, positioned from the base of the spine to the crown of the head. Each chakra is associated with specific spiritual-psycho-emotional, life issues, and growth lessons, and each chakra is of EQUAL importance. (Please see: http://www.psychodynamicawakening.com/chakras/).The 1st or base chakra, is EQUALLY as important as the 7th or crown chakra. The 2nd chakra, is EQUALLY as important as the 6th or third eye chakra. The 3rd (solar plexus) chakra, is EQUALLY as important as the 4th (heart), and 5th (throat) chakra. THEY ALL ARE OF EQUAL IMPORTANCE!

To focus all attention, as “experts” advise on one chakra, is to ignore the life issues and lessons of the others. This is exactly what has taken place in much of the new age spiritual movement, the running away up, to avoid the issues of down. This is what is called spiritual bypass. I would like to give another example to help clarify. If you were suffering from an infected left foot. Would you focus your attention on your right ear? Well, this is exactly what is happening to those who choose to, or are advised to, meditate up rather than deal with down. In my experience as a licensed social worker and mental health counselor, having worked with individuals with all diagnosis, including “schizophrenia,” most traumas and issues that affect humanity are issues of our lower energy centers; these are the energy centers which house our personal relationships with mother and father, and often the neglect, abuse, and trauma of our childhood years. Most individuals are running up, to avoid the traumas of down. However, spiritual awakening and liberation is a process of cleansing all trauma, not running away from it.

So you may ask, if all chakras are equal, which chakra should I meditate on? How will I know? The answer is...

YOU ARE YOUR OWN GURU!!!

And your body is the temple. Your body will dictate to you everything, if you connect with it and feel what it is communicating to you. Do your legs and feet ache? These are lower energy center issues. Does your neck hurt? Is your jaw tight? These are upper energy center issues.

OUR BODY - OUR TEMPLE - DICTATES OUR MEDITATION. 

When we get in touch with our body, our energy centers, our energy, we get in touch with ourselves. This is the true sermon on the body and true connection with God/Self. Our body will guide our meditation. Meditate and focus consciousness on any part of your body where you feel energy or sensation - including pain, for there is no physical pain, without an underlying psycho-emotional pain. Let your body guide your meditation and healing process, for it is far more intelligent then you give it credit for. The energy you feel is you! It is your spirit guiding you to liberate from trauma! It is your spirit guiding you through your spiritual awakening. It is you spirit empowering you. It is your spirit showing you that you are you own guru.

Spiritual awakening is a process of self-empowerment, and there is no self empowerment without struggle and difficulty. Just as we cannot lose weight and gain muscle with a magic pill, but through hard work exercising our body. Just as we cannot become intelligent and brilliant with a magic pill, but through hard work exercising our mind. We cannot gain spiritual enlightenment and liberation through the new age fixes being prescribed to us, but through the hard work of reconnecting to ourselves and our trauma and reconnecting with our spirit in order to liberate ourselves. There is no magic technique that will magically heal you. There is no magic crystal, medallion, talisman that will magically heal you. There is no “guru” or “expert” that will magically heal you. 

The spiritual awakening process, is the technique showing you, that you are the magic. You are the magic crystal. You are the guru. You are the expert. You are the magic that will heal thyself. The difficulty, is going through the self empowerment process necessary to believe this is so. You are your own guru. You are your own liberation. You are more powerful than you can ever imagine. All you have to do is connect to this power already within you. Begin by feeling and connecting with this power right now. Begin by feeling and connecting with yourself and your temple right now. 

-Michael Garbe

http://www.psychodynamicawakening.com/chakras/ 

The Power of Truth

Spiritual Awakening is a process of liberating oneself from a conditioned state of being, into a free state of truthful expression. Liberation! Freedom! Expression of truth! Expressing YOUR truth!

The truth shall set you free.

The truth also hurts. At first. Until you are free. The truth may also hurt others. Stop protecting others, and yourself, from liberation. Stop protecting others, and yourself, from the truth. Only the truth can save you and set you free. Only the truth will do so for others, likewise.

Get out of truths way! Let truth do the work for you! There is nothing more powerful and liberating than the truth.

There are many who feel powerless and trapped. There are many who wonder what they have to do, to manipulate, to control, decisions they make, roads they take, to obtain, to wield, power, and to feel powerful in some way; to free themselves from their circumstances, their fears, and their conditioned state of being.

Stop. Just be truthful. In this moment. With yourself and with others. Express this truth now. You will be free. You will be powerful. You will begin to liberate and empower others.

There is nothing more powerful and liberating than the truth.

You do not have to do anything, but get out of truths way. Take the pressure off of yourself. A simple example is that of the sales man, whether selling an idea or product. If you do not believe in the idea or product, you must sell it! When this happens the pressure is all on you and your performance; the ego is now involved in regards to performance, which results in performance anxiety. On the other hand, if what you are selling is an idea and product that you truly believe in, there is really not much to sell! The crudest example would be trying to sell an old, beat up, and damaged car. As opposed to allowing a shiny new Ferrari, or any other car that you truthfully like, sell itself for you. The truth within you is a shiny new Ferrari. The lie you are living is old and beating you up. You can decide what you want to sell or facilitate. The lie or the truth? You decide this. Which road is ultimately easier? The lie? Or the truth which speaks for itself? You being nothing more than a facilitator of this truth. Let go of the lie and let the truth do all the work for you. No performance anxiety or judgement. The truth is the truth. HOW LIBERATING! 

Just be a facilitator of truth. Let truth do all of the work for you. There is nothing more powerful and liberating than the truth.

When we are not living our truth, life becomes more difficult. We are in a constant power struggle to perform, to outperform others, in order to believe in, deny, or sell a lie, to others and ourselves. Living a lie is emotionally and physically exhausting! When we are living our truth, facilitating this truth, the truth does the work for us. There is no power struggle because we are not controlling or manipulating anything, just free flowing and letting truth do the work for us. There is nothing more powerful and liberating than the truth! 

The same can be said in regard to our interactions and relationships with others. The fear of hurting others, is what often keeps individuals trapped in their circumstances and conditioned state of being. Trapped in a lie. The truth is, you are keeping yourself as well as those you think you are protecting, trapped in a lie. You are protecting yourself and others from the liberating power of truth.

Don’t be scared. You are never doing anything wrong, or truly hurting anyone or anything by being truthful, rather, you are letting the truth of self, life, and God flow through you, to do the work that is intended to heal and evolve us all, as painful as this may be. We only take part in hurting ourselves and others by denying truth, and allowing deception and untruth to halt the process of liberation, spiritual growth, and empowerment. This leads to resentment, anger, low self esteem, and low self worth for all involved.

The truth is self love. The truth is love for others. The truth is self empowerment. The truth is empowerment of others. The truth is liberation. The truth is liberation of others. You are the truth. When this truth is expressed, you will be free and powerful. When this truth is expressed, you will truly love yourself. 

-Michael Garbe

Ego Realignment

The ego is not evil. It has only become conditioned into a fear based control mechanism, which needs to be realigned to serve its’ higher purpose - to serve your higher self.

Ego denotes individuality and this can be a double edged sword. When ego, based on conditioned fear, is used to divide and conquer, to create competition, to be better and have more than another, ego then creates a separation between itself and the rest of creation; a division from the whole, and within self, has been created, for we are all essentially one energy expressed in different forms. When the individual can express itself uniquely with an understanding that it is part of a greater whole, then it is functioning toward it’s true purpose and fulfillment. Such is how different and unique musical notes can come together to form a beautiful symphony.

Just as there is one rainbow (Non-duality) with multiple expressions of color (duality), there can be a collective (non-ego) consciousness with individual expressions of identity (ego). The whole AND the expressions are important! We are all part of the rainbow, while expressing ourselves as unique colors of this one total expression.

DUALISM - The life process of creation and existence, expressed and perceived as duality and together forming the whole - I and the whole, mother and father, dark and light, death and birth, moon and sun, water and fire, etc; and for the topic of this article, individuality and the collective. The dualistic perspective contains ego individuality, separate from, and interacting with the collective whole.

NON-DUALISM - The philosophy of life as one all encompassing energy field, collective consciousness, non-separation, non-individuality, non-ego, oneness. There is no process, or the only process should be to shed the identity of self/ego and merge into oneness of being. 

*Often there are two spiritual camps - the dualists versus the non-dualists, who argue there point of view over the state of being, or the process of attaining enlightenment. 

How about if duality and non-duality are the same? ONE coin with TWO sides. Non-duality contains duality and vice versa. When heads fights with tails, there is separation within duality - ego has gone wrong. When heads and tails appreciate their differences while understanding they are on the same coin, there is balance within duality - ego is functioning correctly. When both sides of duality are balanced, we achieve unity and balance - non-duality and oneness.

Ego is important as long as it is aware of it’s being part of the whole, and this is where the ego has gone awry. The ego has been vilified, because the ego has vilified itself, by being conditioned and by turning on the collective and the unified energy that we are all composed of. The purpose of ego expression is to HELP each other through different expressions, NOT to divide and conquer through different expressions.  

There is a purpose for ego, which is to help the collective. The importance of individual ego expression can be seen in the many different functions expressed through this individuality. Tree huggers, hug trees, and do not save dolphins. Dolphin savers, save dolphins, and do not hug trees. They both serve different and unique purposes. One can say that they are using there unique ego expressions to help the collective, and that these unique and different ego expressions are necessary. If we were all the same, we would all be doing the same thing. What would happen to the dolphins in this example if we were all tree huggers? 

The same can be said for any individual expression of being, from being a chef, to a teacher, to a philosopher; to being a singer, dancer, or sanitation worker. All roles are important and vital for the whole, and should be respected for their contribution to the collective. Unfortunately, due to fear of being unloved, of not having enough (love), humanity has attempted to fill this void with materialism and material wealth. This has resulted in division, a divide and conquer, and an I am better than thou mentality, as well as in the rewarding of certain roles over others, based on wealth accumulation, even though all roles are just as important to the functioning of the whole. This has been the ultimate disease of humanity, the use of ego as divisive and conquering, rather than as a way to assist the whole. The ego has been polluted by the misidentification of it’s true purpose; the ego, has been polluted by the created and fear based conditioned reality of the matrix, which encourages the I am better then thou mentality, rather than an appreciation of all its’ unique and purposeful expressions of one being.

EGO REALIGNMENT

There is another expression of duality which is vitally important, which has been misunderstood, and must be rebalanced. The duality of surrender/action. 

In surrendering to one’s higher self and purpose, ego is realigned with the collective whole and creative energy of all being - oneness.

Ego has become an ambassador of action and control, mostly through the experience of fear based conditioning and trauma. Ego must be rebalanced through surrender. It is OK to have an ego, as long as the ego has been realigned with the collective purpose. How does this happen? Through surrender.

In order to transform the ego from a defense mechanism against life, to an ambassador to life, one must surrender the ego defenses in order to purge and cleanse that which no longer needs to be held onto (Meditation Article). When one begins to purge and clean, one is reconnected to that which existed before and after trauma, which is love, for self and for others; one is reconnected to the whole. 

Once one feels love, of self, of the whole, and to the whole; one can then truly express themselves through corrected and ego realigned action, uniquely and beautifully, in the way which the whole has intended; without fear, without judgement, without competition, for there is an understanding that every different and unique expression is just one piece of the puzzle fitting into the greater master-plan.

Surrender to higher self is necessary, before one can take proper and purposeful action.  Surrender to ego realignment is necessary, before the ego can function as a perfect, unique, and beautiful expression of the larger whole, of which we are all created. The ego then becomes an expression of oneness rather than separation. 

-Michael Garbe

Meditation through Diet - Conscious Eating

We walk into a bookstore, and there are a 101 books, with 101 experts, each giving us their expert opinion on what we should or should not eat. To eat carbs or not? To eat meat or not? What foods to eat to lose weight, to gain weight, to increase energy, to feel more relaxed? My biggest pet peeve, sorry, spiritual instruction on eating. To not eat meat or the need to go on a fast. Advice such as this is always general, and with the billions of people on the planet, can never be specific to you. I would go as far as saying, that certain advice can even be reckless when considering the bodies energetic system. Meat is grounding and there are times when it will be necessary for your body to consume. When? When your body craves it, not when you are instructed to, or not instructed to eat it. There are times when lighter fare will be necessary, and the same internal intelligence which is yours, will again dictate this necessity, without instruction. Are Buddhists or Native Tribes from all around the world not spiritual? Because they sure do eat meat. So which expert do we listen to, when one expert contradicts another expert?

How about we begin to listen to ourselves? Is it possible to believe that our bodies are so innately intelligent, that they can dictate to us what should or should not be consumed? Spiritual awakening, is this awakening of our bodies innate intelligence. An awakening which takes over and begins to dictate to us, what is best for us, when our minds have been so overloaded and confused by years and years of instruction; instruction which has mostly failed. Diets do not work, and there is definitely no freedom in them. Spiritual awakening, connection to self, is about trust, and most importantly freedom.

Sugar

The freedom that comes with connecting to our innate intelligence, comes with the freedom from addictive substances that interfere with our bodies ability to listen to itself; any addictive drug, but for the purpose of diet, any addictive food. Sugar, more specifically refined sugar, is the only food that is so addictive, that we will actually experience withdrawal symptoms after stopping the consumption of it. It is vital, across all spectrums of health, to cleanse the body of anything that interferes with it’s pure functioning perfection. Break the addiction from sugar!

Emotional Eating

The vast majority of us are emotional eaters; we eat to feel good, or to subdue anxiety, sadness, and pain. The problem is, the pain does not go away, it just gets pushed down, and covered by the food, and the inevitable extra weight and fat that insulates us from having to feel that which we do not want to feel. Spiritual awakening requires us to deal with these emotions, to feel the burn, as that which no longer serves our higher good is burned off as well. When we listen to our bodies innate intelligence, it will burn away that which it does not require, and this translates into burning off of both the extra weight of fat, as well as emotional content and trauma. Burn everything off that does not serve you!!!

So how do I listen to my innate intelligence?

There has been much said about meditation, and there is a purpose for meditation along the journey, however, what is not understood is that there are multiple forms of meditation! Being still long enough to get in touch with our bodies decision making ability, is one of the greatest forms of meditation, and through diet - because we eat so often, we connect to one of the greatest training exercises for meditative practice.

So what does my body want to eat?

It starts with one simple question: What SPECIFICALLY do I FEEL like eating? Not what I think I want, or think I should eat because my mind has been bombarded by so many rules that I no longer know what is good for myself. When the body is really hungry, it is essentially asking for some type of nutrient, whether that be an amino acid from protein such as fish, meat, or tofu; healthy fat from nuts, seeds, avocados, and olive oils; a vitamin or carb found in fruits and/or vegetables; etc.

I have used one simple practice when “hungry.” I ask myself what EXACTLY do I feel like eating? If I don’t know, or if I can’t tell if I want a steak or ice cream, I’ve understood that I’m not really hungry; it’s most likely emotional hunger which is disguising emotion, which needs to be felt and burned off. The moment you allow yourself to FEEL emotion you are essentially releasing it. True hunger reveals itself by an exact identification of what the body is exactly craving and desiring for nutritional content.

So we listen! Imagine that. We listen and if we don’t get an answer, we listen a little more, until the answer comes, and it will come, either through emotion or true hunger, and either way you are connecting to your true self. We then release, or eat, what we are bodies really want to. We have just begun the simplest and one of the most powerful of meditative practices, and with the need to use this practice all day, through diet, one of the greatest exercises and entry point into connection with our inner intelligence. We are what and HOW we eat. Begin the healthy connection with self through a healthy connection with what and HOW you eat.

-Michael Garbe

Meditation

Meditation is simply a connection with self, whether this be true self or ego self. True self is a state of pure being. Pure being requires no thought; pure being just is. Ego self is a state of conditioned being. Conditioned being requires an idea of self; an idea of self requires a thought; an idea is a thought. Through meditation we can connect to true self, while becoming aware of conditioned self; both important processes which allow us to connect with who we are, while identifying who we are not. 

Meditation accomplishes connection with self in two ways. By connecting us to true self - who we are, and by developing awareness of ego/conditioned self - who we are not. 

The ego is a psychologically conditioned defense mechanism, which unfortunately, also keeps us trapped in it’s defenses, defenses which in time turn into a prison. The ego served a purpose at one time, which was to protect us from trauma. However, the same defenses that protected us from trauma, also protected us from processing this trauma in a healthy manner; the truthful processing which is necessary for our liberation from trauma; the truthful processing which is necessary to connect us to our state of being before and after trauma.

The ego is a product of conditioning. The ego is a product of who we think we are, who we have been made to think we are, based on conditioning through experiences. We become aware of ego self, by becoming aware of our thinking, by becoming aware of our thoughts. Thoughts are not evil, however, conditioned thoughts are not true self; they are a product of external conditioning, a product of the matrix, a product of trauma. The goal of meditation is not to get away from thoughts permanently, but to observe them. Even the Buddha was stated to find peace amidst his thoughts, not through their elimination. Thoughts have value. By observing thoughts we become aware of our conditioned self, we become aware of the ego, we become aware of who we are not. The scientific method informs us to do the same; search for truth through the process of identifying untruth. 

So if we are not the ego, not the conditioned thinking, not the traumas that we endured, who are we? 

We are a state of being that existed before, and will exist after, trauma. 

How does one get in touch with this state of being? 

By processing and cleansing oneself of trauma. 

How does one process and cleanse oneself of trauma? 

By feeling trauma away! By doing what the ego is protecting you from doing. BY FEELING!!!

Feeling is the antithesis of thinking. The ego, the mind, built the prison; thinking will not provide the key to escape. The only way to escape the prison is to feel your way out, and it is often a painful escape; an escape that often keeps individuals trapped in their egoic, conditioned state of being for a lifetime, or at least until the pain is too great, and even then, the search for anything to medicate the pain, from drugs, both prescription and non, to alcohol, to any form of compulsive behavior, is desperately sought after and used, to not feel and process trauma.

The greatest form of meditation is to simply feel your state of being, to process what you are feeling, and in this way to liberate, and connect to, true self; not to run away from this process. Any meditative practice that implies otherwise is functioning exactly as the ego would. Ego is about control. Meditation is about liberation, through the process, not away from it. Furthermore, the ego is highly structured, as is the prison it built. Any structured meditative practice is also functioning as the ego would. Meditation again, is about liberation from the mind, from structure, from trauma, not controlled by it. Any structured, formulaic, meditative technique or process is egoic, plain and simple. 

On a side-note: Any structured, formulaic, religion, philosophy, or institution, which claims to be ridding one of their ego through a structured, formulaic practice, is inherently self contradictory and egoic in nature.

Non-egoic meditative practice guides the practitioner, not vice-versa. Non-egoic meditative practice liberates the practitioner from a conditioned state of being, rather then further conditioning the practitioner through a conditioned practice.

 So how should one meditate?

By letting go. By letting go of control. By letting your body guide you. By feeling your body. By feeling which is the antithesis of thinking. By consciously allowing oneself to feel everything they have to feel, in anyway and however possible. In a bed, in a chair, laying on the floor, crying, screaming, kicking, etc. By observing your thoughts when they arise and try to egoicly control and define the situation, and by surrendering again to the body and feelings which will guide you, rather than your ego doing so. Your body will dictate everything. Your body is the temple which wants to be clean whether your ego wants to or not. This is the reason for your aches and pains, your ailments, your psychological symptoms. These are just symptoms of the process and the cleansing which must be surrendered to. When the temple is clean, one will connect with true self; true self which exists before and after conditioning and trauma. Let go and allow the process to free you. It can happen no other way.

Meditation is simply a connection with self and there are many ways to do so. None more profound than allowing oneself to feel and be their truth.

-Michael Garbe

Boundaries 2 - Vertical vs. Horizontal Relationships

The most important relationship one can have is with self. When there is no peace within self, there can be no peace with others, for external relationships are just mirrored reflections of our internal relationship with self. One cannot express what one does not have within themselves, wether this be love, hate, fear, or any type of judgement. In order to love, one must know and be love. In order to hate, one must know and be hate. In order to fear, one must know and be fear. In order to judge, one must know and be the judger. What you practice is what you become, whether practiced outwards or inwards.

The most important relationship one can have is with self, this is self love. This is the vertical relationship. It is our relationship with our body, our energy, our energy centers - Chakras, from the bottom of our feet to the crown of our head. It is our relationship with “Higher Self - God - Universal Consciousness - Cosmos - Father” above, and Mother Earth below. It is the unification of Mother and Father energies above and below us, as well as within us (Please see blog on Becoming Whole). It is an understanding of and relationship with self. Without a relationship with and understanding of self, one cannot have proper boundaries. When one does not know self, does not have boundaries - one takes on the traumas, judgements, and fears of others. The most important relationship one can have is with self - the understanding that one is not the judgements, fears, and traumas of others. That one is clean and pure love.

Relationships with others, outside of us, are important as well. These are horizontal relationships. Through these relationships we practice AND strengthen who we are - love, or who we have become conditioned to be - hate, fear, or judgment. Through horizontal relationships we are triggered (please see blog on triggers), so that we can cleanse ourselves of who we are not. Through horizontal relationships we can heal through being triggered, as well as make corrections of behavior and shift ourselves from a practice of judgement, fear, and hate, to a practice of love. In this way we shift from a conditioned being of judgement, fear, and hate, to a clean and pure being of love. We reconnect to our true selves.

So why is our vertical relationship the most important? It is important because of the matrix - the conditioned reality in which we live, and of which we have a horizontal relationship with. We are surrounded and bombarded by the matrix, the advertisements, the commercials, the news, the magazines, the politics, the fear, the judgement, the hate, and unfortunately the people who have become pawns and puppets of this conditioned reality, until they wake up. Hopefully the tide will change the more people awaken, but until then boundaries are necessary. Until then it is vital to cultivate our vertical relationship with self, while we interact with the horizontal relationship of the matrix. 

How does one cultivate their vertical relationship with self? First and foremost, through awareness of self, and through awareness of what is NOT self. This means taking time to disconnect from the matrix and connect with yourself. ONE MUST MAKE TIME TO CONNECT WITH SELF!!! Connecting with self is not always pleasant at first, for we have endured wounds and traumas from the many years spent living in the matrix of fear based behaviors, and often endured trauma as a result of the fear based behaviors of our parents and other adults, when we were children who could not easily and willingly defend ourselves. Connecting with ourselves often means reconnecting with these traumas in order to process them, cleanse, and heal ourselves. This is an uncomfortable process that a large majority of humanity prefers to avoid, through distracting themselves within the matrix, constantly and compulsively looking for external relief from their internal discomfort through unhealthy horizontal relationships; from unhealthy relationships with people, to alcohol and substance use, desperate searches for any quick fix or latest fad, watching television or searching the internet for hours to avoid life, the over-acquisition of material goods, overeating, over-dieting, over-exercising, etc. One of the most unfortunate methods to avoiding internal discomfort, is the external projection of one’s discomfort on others, due to differences in skin color, cultural, or socio-economic background. ALL EXCUSES NOT TO DEAL WITH ONES OWN INTERNAL CONFLICT, which results in division without and division within. Connecting with self is a cleansing and healing of self, a uniting of this divide, a becoming whole.

One must make time to connect with Self - Vertical Self - Higher Self - Universal Consciousness - Divine Mother - Divine Father - God, throughout the day, especially as one interacts with the matrix. This will assist us in our horizontal relationships, helping us connect with others who are also cultivating this state of being, as well as assisting those who are still conditioned, as a byproduct of the energy emitted through our vertical connection. Vertical connection and energy is limitless, as is the cosmos. Horizontal energy is limited, especially due to ego and competitive mentally. There is no power struggle when there is unlimited energy - the energy of our vertical self. There is only power struggle through sole focus on horizontal comparison and competition; the me first, me better, and me right mentality. We must be aware when we get sucked into unhealthy horizontal behavior. Horizontal relationships are important, however, they are only healthy when one has a healthy vertical relationship with self. Then there is no power struggle, judgement and fear. Then there can be only love. The most beautiful and healthy horizontal relationships are between those who have a healthy vertical relationship with self. There is no power struggle, no competition, no judgement, no fear, only love. 

-Michael Garbe

 (Meditation is simply a connection with self - Next Blog)  

Boundaries

Unconditional love is the ultimate goal of being. To love unconditionally one must possess the ability to do so, which is derived from an understanding of what unconditional love is. One must know and feel unconditional love, to love unconditionally. Unconditional love begins with unconditional love of self. Complete acceptance of self. When all fears and self-judgments are gone, and one can express him or herself freely, one can then share their unconditional love of self with others. You are love. Unconditional love is, true freedom and expression of this self.

Many have been unloved. Many have been loved. Very few have been loved unconditionally. For very few have experienced unconditional love, themselves, and of self, and therefore could not offer this love to another. For unconditional love requires fearlessness. A fearlessness to allow oneself AND others, to be and express, WHATEVER it is they wish to be and express. This initial lesson, or lack thereof, begins with our parents. Most parents out of very high levels of “conditional” love, do not allow this freedom of being from their children. 

Conditional love is the equivalent of love combined with fear. Many parents, dictated by their own subconscious fears, dictate the realty and future of their children. It is not the parents conscious fault. They are just passing on the “conditional” love that was passed on to them. They just want the “best” for their children, even if this means the child quietly sacrifices dreams, creativity, and freedom of self, for a “comfortable” life in the matrix; a job with health insurance and a 401K by any means, over a creative desire or impulse; fear of illness and poverty, in these examples, being the primary motivator, passed on from generation to generation. In worst case scenarios, trauma, neglect, and abuse being passed on as well; all fear based behaviors. Most decisions within the matrix - the conditioned reality we have accepted as our state of being, and which eastern philosophers call Maya or the illusion, are based on fear. Children are not born with this fear, but with inherent unconditional love - the fearless love of all things, black-white, young-old, “good-bad.” Children are then taught fear and conditional love based on fear, and unfortunately experience trauma in many circumstances as well. Children must learn the lesson of “NO.” Children, the children within us, must learn to say no to this matrix - maya - illusion, in order to be reconnected to the reality of our true selves, to the reality of our unconditional love, and freedom of this expression.

To learn unconditional love of self, one must first learn boundaries. To learn how to say YES to self, one must learn how to say NO to others.

Unconditional love does not equate to being a martyr, as unconditional love implies love of self as well. Unfortunately we do live within this matrix of fear based decisions and behaviors, and we will encounter individuals that operate from this paradigm of being. Unconditional love guides us to accept and forgive these individuals, while boundaries guide us to have respect for our sovereign space and being. There is a beautiful quote stating; if you meet an individual whose soul does not resonate with yours, send them love and move along. The beauty here, is that we do not judge, we accept, we love the other, all the while respecting and loving our space and ourselves as well. When I teach boundaries to clients, I often liken it to dancing. We should understand everybody’s unique movements, for they were created under certain circumstances, however, this does not mean that these movements will jive with ours, and that these individuals will be our dance partner. Keep on dancing/expressing the dance of unconditional love and respect for self, and you will ultimately find your dance tribe and your dance partner. For those whose boundaries have been violated, sometimes violently, it is imperative to seek therapeutic assistance in purging the energetic and psychological remnants of these violations, re-creating proper boundaries, in the hope of at some point trusting in the reality of unconditional love, which in essence is a reconnection to self, before and after trauma. We can NEVER allow the fear and trauma to ultimately determine our reality.

Finally, creating boundaries can be, and is often painful. For creating boundaries implies a separation from the influences of the matrix surrounding us, including the influences of our parents. Psychic and psychological separation from the umbilical cord is painful. It is the basis of children stating love for parents who have abused them, as well as individuals recreating and staying in, abusive relationships later in life. ANYTHING to not be alone! ANY love will do! Even if conditional and abusive. The most difficult obstacle for boundary formation is the fear of being alone (Please see blog article - Psychodynamically and Spiritually, written 11/15/14). However, facing this fear, is EXACTLY the process of boundary formation and self love, that will lead one back to themselves. The unconditional love that existed before and after trauma, and the realization that you are never alone.

“There will be a period of loneliness during the process of transformation, for there is only room for one in the cocoon.”

-Michael Garbe

Triggers

Trigger - Any person, place, thing, that evokes an often “undesired” emotional response.

Be grateful when you are triggered, for it is your unknown, subconscious content, being revealed to you. Why is this important? It is important because our unknown subconscious content dictates our conscious reality, and until it is known to us, we are powerless, a slave, to our subconscious. Subconscious content is often undesired, and that is why it has been pushed down, under, sub, our conscious. Anything sub our conscious, is consciously unknown to us. Subconscious content is often all the “negative,” “icky” feelings that we did not, and do not want to deal with; the anger, depression, anxiety, caused by traumas that we have dissociated and disconnected from. We often feel our subconscious content, in the form of anxiety, depression, and anger, but have no idea where these feelings are coming from. We do not want to consciously know, because these traumas are too painful - this is the basis of denial. We often try to consciously find external factors for these “negative” feelings, such as diet - something your eating, health - aches and pains, politics, people, etc... ANYTHING to not have to delve into the real source of your discomfort, which is YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS SELF! However, just because we have dissociated from, or projected these traumas and feelings, does not mean they have magically disappeared! They quietly and uncomfortably control every decision we make in our lives, until they are brought to the surface, resolved and dissolved. Patterns of behavior are dictated by the subconscious. It is the reason we repeat the same scenarios over and over, often committing the same mistakes again and again, and often asking ourselves - Why did I do that again? I knew better! Well, your conscious knew better, but your conscious does not dictate your reality, your subconscious does. There is a great quote by Carl Jung: “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

There are many ways our subconscious is revealed to us, our feelings being the foremost important connector to our subconscious content. Thoughts are conscious. Feelings are subconscious, which then dictate our conscious thoughts. There is nothing more real then your feelings, whether you want to deny them or not. You can consciously lie to yourself, but your subconscious feelings will always be your truth. The ego is a conscious construct that was created to protect you. However, at some point it began to protect you from yourself, the real self that is underneath all subconscious traumas; traumas that need to be unearthed and aired out, in order for you to be cleansed and be free. The maladaptive ego will do everything in it’s power, through projection, denial, dissociation, intellectualization and more, to protect you from your pains. Spiritual awakening is a dissolution of the ego and a cleansing of the traumas, in order to reconnect you to you, the purity that exists before and after all trauma.  

Dreams are another form of subconscious communication. Psychodynamic theorists state that dreams can be one of two things: unfulfilled subconscious desires or subconscious fears. I believe dreams are a very powerful subconscious processing tool, communicating to us our subconscious desires and fears, as well as processing this content. From a therapeutic standpoint, I find there is nothing more powerful then processing difficult emotional content in our dream state. Be grateful if you are ever anxious, sad, or angry in your dream, even if you wake up feeling these emotions. Understand that you have processed subconscious content that you had been unwilling to do, in your conscious wake state, and that your vessel is cleaner and clearer because of this. It would not be a bad idea to seek therapeutic help and this point to further assist the cleansing process, preferably from a therapist who is versed in dream work.  

Then there are triggers. The beauty of being triggered, is that we are feeling a moment in which our subconscious truth is being revealed to us, in a very acute experience. We cannot be triggered into any emotion that does not ALREADY exist within us. If you do not have anger already within you, nothing can make you angry. The same can be said for anxiety and sadness - these emotions were taught to us through experience, through trauma - they are not inherent in our being. Triggers give us a glimpse into our subconscious self that has been hiding, or has been pushed down by ego defenses. Underneath trauma, fear, sadness, anger, is you - love, joy, happiness, and peace. Underneath the subconscious darkness, is the light of your being. The ego however, as a defense mechanism, wants to keep things at status quo; the ego does not want you to explore the depths, the darkness, the pain. The ego would like to keep us in the ignorance of our conscious matrix, as we live a semi-comfortable life of low level anxiety, depression, and even low level happiness, while searching for all types of external mechanisms to somehow improve our situation - from drugs to entertainment to chasing the “American Dream”, all the while never finding true fulfillment, for true fulfillment can only come from within.

In order to find fulfillment we need to explore! We need to explore ourselves! We need to go where our ego does not want to go! We need to thank those people, events, and circumstances that trigger us, that have revealed to us a glimpse into our own subconscious. We need to follow our feelings down down down, into the depths of our being, in order to face the monsters that have been buried deep below, but are however dictating our reality. We need to take our power back! We need to take our power back from ourselves! No one can give to you who you really are. No one can give you, you! With this realization your inner journey becomes the most important journey you will ever live. A journey to reconnect to your most powerful self.

-Michael Garbe 

Becoming Whole

Careful, careful, how we split.

Mom OR Dad, only HALF of it.

Sacred union requires two,

For both of them, are both in you.

We must make peace with all of them, 

To find the peace which lies within.

Please forgive and please let go,

For this is how we truly grow.

To love the two, is to love ourselves,

Which leads to love of all as well.

We were created from both feminine and masculine energies. These are the energies that we are composed of. In physical birth, at our most vulnerable, our two physical parents become the representation of our physical “God” - we rely on them for all forms of survival (First Chakra).

In many human experiences, there is often a trauma that occurs in connection with this physical representation of “God”, either from the feminine or masculine half, and sometimes both. From neglect, to abandonment, to abuse, these traumas get stored in our energy centers (Chakras), until we are ready to deal with them. 

Splitting is the psychological mechanism that we use to protect ourselves from this trauma. Often we split the two parents - mom is good and dad is evil, or vice versa. Often we split with both - mom and dad are good when they pay attention to me, and evil when they do not. We are splitting the two energies and/or splitting with both.

Splitting however, causes us to split with ourselves. Remember that we are also composed of both of these energies. When we split with either the female or male composition of ourselves, we are no longer whole. If dad is evil, so is the male within. If mom is evil, so is the feminine within. This leads to many forms of self dislike, self hatred, self destruction and suicide, as well as the use of substances to counter these negative feelings. Health imbalances and autoimmune disease are also a result of this splitting. If we are energetically balanced, we are physically balanced. If we love ourselves, there is no need to attack ourselves.

What was split must be integrated in order for us to become healthy and whole. We must explore the traumas that caused us to split. We must heal these wounds. We must forgive and let go, in order to forgive ourselves and be free. When we make peace with the masculine and feminine energies without, we make peace with these energies within. We now love ourselves. We now can love the world.

-Michael Garbe  

Psychodynamically and Spiritually

Separation/Individuation is a primary goal for a person, which can last a lifetime.

Separation/Individuation is awareness that we are separate psychological entities from our attachment figures - mother and father. In this awareness we can detach from their fears, traumas, and judgements - THESE FEARS DO NOT BELONG TO US! They have just been passed down inter-generationally.

WITHOUT separation/individuation, transference and countertransference is not a phenomena that occurs occasionally, it is a CONTINUOUS subconscious process; we are continuously assuming our dynamic positions with one another. I NEED you, so dynamically you assume the role of mother or father, and I child; you need me, I become father or mother, and you child. These are the people we NEEDED most, even if they were not there, and based on this need, we are constantly looking to fill the hole within us through relationships with others.  That is why breakups are so painful! It's hard having mom or dad taken away from us a second time. It is our greatest fear and most painful loss.

Separation/Individuation is a healing from this loss and a separation from this fear. It is an understanding that I can forgive others and myself to overcome trauma. I can love others and myself, regardless of what happened in the past. I am capable of forgiveness and compassion towards others and myself. This is MY POWER AND CHOICE. I can be the best mother and father for myself, because I am WHOLE!  I can be the best partner for you, because I don't NEED you - I can just love you as I love myself.

Spiritually, this is the moment when we transition from loneliness, which is based on need, to "aloneness" - an understanding that we are complete within our own being and at peace with ourselves. Only when we are at peace with ourselves, can we be at peace with others.

Spiritually - When we can forgive mother and father for passing on to us their trauma/karma, through compassion and an understanding of the pain they also endured; when we can forgive mother and father for not providing us with everything we needed, because they were not perfect and neither are we - then we can make peace with ALL beings who represent this dynamic of mother and father, including the masculine and feminine energies which WE are composed of. We can now forgive and make peace with ourselves. We have broken karma.

All of existence is represented by this mother-father dynamic, this masculine-feminine energy, this duality. We call it Male-Female of every species, Yin-Yang, Sun-Moon, Water-Fire, Day-Night, Hot-Cold, etc...

When we make peace with all of existence, essentially we cease separation from existence.

Separation/Individuation - Aloneness - has now become the realization that we are all ONE. Duality has ceased. We are never separate, never alone.

 - Michael Garbe