Those who are empathic, meaning those who are highly sensitive often have the hardest time developing healthy boundaries. The reason is creating healthy boundaries and healthy separation, which is vital for personal growth, often causes pain in those who we are creating healthy separation from and due to being highly sensitive, the empath will feel this pain of the other, in him or herself. In an attempt to alleviate this pain of others which is felt within the self, the empath will often sacrifice him or herself - will often sacrifice his or her truth; this is unhealthy for all parties involved. Nothing is more important and powerfully healing than the truth. The truth hurts, however, the truth will also set you free.
It is easy to be independent when not caring about or for the needs of others. This does not translate into "healthy" boundaries but boundaries and protection based on fear, an extreme form of this being narcissism, the sole caring of self without regard for others.
The double edged sword of being an empath and highly sensitive is that you will feel more of everything - joy and pain. It is necessary to feel the pain of others in that it connects us to humanity. However, as one cleanses one's own store of pain, it is also necessary to create healthy boundaries and to have healthy detachment. When we can feel the pain of others, but no longer personally identify with it and make it our own, we can than assist others in healing their pain, rather then getting sucked into their quagmire of it.
The importance of creating healthy boundaries and separation is that we develop an individuality and truth of being that is no longer influenced by the judgement, fear, and pain of others. This state of being is of the utmost importance for the empath, for the highly sensitive, for the healer, even if it causes discomfort in those struggling with their process. Without healthy boundaries, healthy separation, and healthy detachment, we cannot grow. It is through these processes that we do grow. It is through one's own personal growth that others will grow as well, whether they like it or not.
The empath must learn to accept the discomfort of other's personal growth, just as we accepted the discomfort of our own; this is the development and utilization of healthy boundaries and a respect for the often painful process of growth through truth.
P.S. For those trying to spiritually bypass their pain (Spiritual Bypass Blog), there are no magic boundary shields. Be grateful when you are triggered by others, heal and cleanse your personal pain rather than avoiding this process or blaming it on the other, and you will establish for yourself the most powerful, personal, and self developed boundaries there are, created from within and non-dependent on magic or the assistance of another. Remember, boundaries imply individuality and self empowerment; self empowerment implies putting in the work.
(Michael Garbe)