In this paradigm of existence, boundaries ARE necessary, for we were not born in heaven but on this playing field and there ARE forces in play that we had to or still have to create boundaries from.

The only way to create boundaries is as a function of the factors that we are creating boundaries from. Boundaries are not needed nor can they be created in a vacuum. I always say, it's easy to call oneself zen, sitting quietly in a cave in the middle of nowhere, or in a peaceful forest, or by the ocean, or on vacation, but it is in contrast to other, differing, and more erratic, sometimes hostile energies, in which one truly practices and hopefully masters being zen. Come back from your cave, into a New York City Subway, during rush our, in the middle of summer, while the AC is out, and the train is stopping every 5 minutes due to signal problems, remain calm and then you are truly mastering being zen.

There are those who say that we should all get away, find a peaceful place to escape, from the hustle and bustle, from the pain, however… is this not just running away? No, we must confront our tests and challenges, in order to overcome them, in order to build boundaries, to self empower, in order to be at peace, to find our zen.

But then….??? Why is it that we learn boundaries??? Is it to have to practice them for the rest of our lives??? Why is it that one learns a martial art? Maybe for self-defense. Maybe they have lived in a hostile environment. But should one have to fight for the rest of his or her life?

I don't believe so. I believe that we can not run away from our lessons. That learning boundaries, learning how to say no is one of the most important lessons we can learn in our lives. But then AFTER this lesson is learned, AFTER we are self empowered, we can THEN use this power to create the lives we want. We do not have to practice and utilize boundaries and self defense for the rest of our lives!!! Sometimes, and often times, it will be time to say GOOD BYE.

(Michael Garbe)